


Date Night

by itsnotlove



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: F/M, I don't know what to tag this as but it's basically just a mess rip, Implied/Referenced Torture, Referenced rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:54:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8194639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnotlove/pseuds/itsnotlove
Summary: Someone tried to mug Erika and Walker, and nothing good came of it.





	

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of! Most guys like being licked there! Even if Yumacchi says he doesn’t, he really does! He always makes those ‘Kya! Kya!’ noises!” 

 

“Wha-? Karisawa you’re lying! No self respecting man enjoys that!”

 

“I’m not lying and it’s perfectly normal! Here-” Erika walks on her knees toward the back of the van and rifles through a backpack. After several worrying seconds, she finally finds what she’s looking for, and turns around to shove it in her captive’s face. “I’ll give you a One Day Only Special! Instead of staying with your initial choice of book, you can rechoose from one of these!”

 

The captive eyed Walker’s welding torch nervously, fairly certain that whatever was going to happen with it wasn’t something he’d like. He’d chosen the least painful looking manga from the bunch, Fullmetal something, but now that he was presented with new choices…

 

He turned his attention to the manga in front of him, and barely managed to hide his whimper. The covers were all so terrifying, but for entirely different reasons.

 

“Showing Mugger-san your BL! Karisawa, this is worse than death! With such horrible writing, we can’t possibly do anything worse!”

 

“The writing has heart! Don’t be so fast to dismiss it!”

 

“Heart!? It’s disgusting! Totally unrealistic! No man would talk like that!”

 

“That’s not true! Iza-Iza says this stuff to Shizu-chan all the time!”

 

“What! He told you that?!”

 

“Yes!” Erika smiled smugly to herself. “He told me with his eyes just yesterday!”

 

“That doesn’t count!”

 

“Yes it does!”

 

“U-Uh-”

 

“Oh! Did you choose one?” Erika chirped, ignoring Walker’s embarrassed mumblings. “Which one?”

 

“I, uh… Is that… Heiwajima?”

 

Walker uncovered his face and leaned forward, a strange look on his face. “YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO GET RID OF THESE!”

 

“But the art is so good! And it’s based on a true story, so it’s practically a textbook!”

 

“A true story?! When did those two ever play doctors and nurses? And- Is that  _ us?! _ ” 

 

“Yes! You were a paleontologist!”

 

“A what?”

 

“A doctor for dinosaurs!”

 

“That’s not what that is! That’s a dietician!”

 

“No, you’re confusing dinosaurs with that diet!”

 

“I pick that one!”

 

Both Erika and Walker stopped mid sentence and turned to look at their captive. He was glaring at a manga on the ground and smiling. If the cover was anything to go by, then his torture wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe he’d be forced to screw the blond guy (who totally looked like a taker and not a giver), but that wouldn’t be so awful.

 

“Oh! You picked White & Black! That’s a good choice!”

 

Walker snatched the manga up and flipped through it, a look of concentration on his face. After a few pages, a smile blossomed on his face, and he snapped it closed. “A very good choice, Mugger-san!”

 

The victim smiled nervously, pleased that he’d chosen well. Just as he’d suspected, the blond was desperate for it, which meant he might be able to leave relatively unscathed.

 

“Yumacchi! I always knew you secretly liked BL!”

 

“I didn’t say that!”

 

“You should see your smile! It’s love at first reading” Erika walked on her knees toward Walker and leaned past him, brushing her chest against his arm in a way that was just a little too forceful to be considered accidental. “Promise me that if you get a boyfriend, you’ll let me give you tips!”

 

“I’m not getting a boyfriend!” With a red face (from anger, obviously), Walker dug through the backpack resting beside him. “Did you bring the vice?”

 

“Go~ot i~t!”

 

“I have salt!”

 

“W-Wait! What do you need that for?!”

 

“And I have elastic bands! A lot of them!”

 

After a lot of shuffling (and the terrifying checklist that Walker and Erika seemed to be going through), the duo finally turned their attentions back to their guest.

 

“Mugger-san, Karisawa and I are both angels.” Walker explained as he adjusted the metal vice in his hands. “And we’re going to send you to Heaven or Hell!”

 

“If you can guess which of us is a White Angel and which is a Black Angel, we’ll let you go, okay?”

 

“White and black?” Keeping his eyes fixed to the vice, the victim swallowed thickly. “What are you doing with that?”

 

“We have to shrink your head so you fit the genre! If we don’t, Yumacchi will start complaining about a lack of realism!”

 

“It’s not complaining! It’s constructive criticism! If I don’t review it, then who will?”

 

“Wait! Don’t do that, please! I like my head!”

 

“We’re only going to shrink it a little! It’ll match your hands!”

 

“H-Hands?”

 

“We’re going to make them nice and big!”

 

Happy that the vice was now open enough, Walker leaned forward and shoved it the vice down onto the victim’s head. Not one to be outdone, Erika started tying elastic bands around the victim’s wrist.

 

“B-But-! A-Aren’t you… This isn’t what I thought when you showed me those! They’re BL!”

 

“Eh?”

 

“Oh!” Erika stilled her hands as she understood what was happening. “You wanted to have Yumacchi’s Twinkly-dee in your Suction Cup!”

 

“Whaaa? Mugger-san is a pervert! I’m not putting anything near you, so don’t get your hopes or anything else up!”

 

“NO! I didn’t wa- I thought-!”

 

“Did you think Yumacchi wanted  _ your  _ Sad Thumb?”

 

“I...”

 

“Because of what I was saying earlier?” Erika pulled one of the elastic bands back then released it, smiling happily once it slapped the victim’s wrist. “He only likes it when I lick him there.”

 

“Do not! This is slander!”

 

“Now quick! You need to choose which of us wants to send you to Hell, and which wants to send you to Heaven!” Ignoring Walker’s embarrassed mumblings for the second time, Erika made  abig show of pointing between herself and her accomplice. “Which is the Black Angel, and which is the White Angel?”

 

With no other choice, the victim took a large breath in. He looked between Walker and Erika, studying their expressions carefully. “I th-thought that… you’d be the Black Angel, and he’d be the White Angel… b-but...”

 

He licked his lips, and hoped against hope he was choosing correctly. “I think he’s mad at me now, s-so… I think he’s the Black Angel, and you’re the White Angel?”

 

Erika clutched her chest and made a strange giggling noise. “I’ve always wanted to be the White Angel!”

 

“Yeah? W-Well, you’re good at it! See? You’re pretty like an angel and everything!” Desperate to secure his release, the victim rambled on and on. As long as Erika and Walker were smiling, they wouldn’t hurt him, right?

 

“You couldn’t have Yumacchi, so you’re trying for me! Well, that won’t work!” With another laugh, Erika bopped the victim on the nose with her finger. “It’s too bad you were wrong, you’re so good at compliments!”

 

“Wrong? W-Wait! I changed my mind! I meant that he was the White Angel and you were the Black Angel!”

 

“You’re still wrong, Mugger-san!” Walker fiddled with the Vice, slowly turning the lever so that it began to tighten. “We’re both the Black Angel.”

 

The victim’s screaming could be heard within a three block radius, but stopped before it could draw to much suspicion to the white van it leaked from. Outside, Togusa leaned against the driver’s door and took a puff of his cigarette. He pondered the fact that, for anyone else, getting mugged on a date would be considered awful. But for Erika and Walker…

 

“How do you get yourself mugged on purpose, anyway?”

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
